Besucher seit Januar 2005: 980675

October 5th, 2007 the day my mother left me

My dear Little Smile Family
Sometimes there are no words to express, no chance to tell how deep love is. Through my whole life my mother and I were so closed though many times physically separated.
Already during pregnancy with me, my mother had to suffer: from the 3rd month on she has to visit a doctor for daily injections, otherwise I would have died before being born. My mother did that 181 days long and after my birth she put me under a very special care and a mother’s love.
When I was around ten years old, I had a very important dream. I was dreaming 3 times in less than 4 weeks, that I was standing at a new grave with many flowers and I heard some old ladies in the back whispering: “Poor boy, he lost his mother already.”
Today I am this poor boy and I feel like I lost a part of my heart, my blood and life. But this dream, 40 years ago was a big present because all the time I used to show my mother, how special she is for me, how special our relationship is and our love.
Whenever I got cheated or disappointed from others – and this happened very often – I knew that there was a person I could trust, there was a person who really loved me, not because of money or power, but because of me.
My mother made me strong enough to start the work of love in Sri Lanka. She was the one who gave me the energy to continue after so many disappointments. She opened my eyes to how important the love of a mother is and how poor we are without this incomparable love. So I decided to give my love to children, who are missing this love. In the end, it is the love of my mother who is living in and working through me.
Yesterday, one day before she was dying, she told me very clearly: “Nothing is important, nothing can stay, only our love will go on for ever and ever.
The last words she said in her life to you, after you were praying with her through the phone: “Hello dear children, I love you.” After that, she was not talking anymore.
We can not earn love. Love is a present. You got the biggest present, bigger than anybody of you can imagine. I hope this love will guide you the right way.
I am so lonely, but I am not lost because her love was too big to die with her body.
Only very few of you knew my mother but I can tell you: I can not imagine more love as my mother gave for others, and she really loved you, like one child because you are my children. It was her wish that a part of her ashes will come to our Little Smile so that she can return to the place she loved so much.
I cannot go on writing, too many tears make me blind, too much darkness around my heart in this moment. During the long time of her horrible sickness, I was unable to be with her. I built up so many houses for others, I gave so much care and love for others, and not one minute did I forget my mother. Now she went for ever and it is like something was breaking my heart.
I will come with her ashes and I really hope that some of you will make my mother proud when she is watching you from heaven now. She told me, shortly before she went for ever, that she wants to be at our temple place, my mother Maria with mother Maria of Jesus.
Today this planet lost a light and I lost the sun of my life.
In the name of the love of my mother and with my one love, given through her
your loving
Lokuthatha